Overcoming fears thanks to our climbing kids

During the last part of October, I decided it would be nice to interact with our Instagram followers through questionnaires on our stories. I wanted to see how our follower community has identified with our youth with their own experiences engaging in the outdoors, specifically around fears and challenges. Here are a few of the questions that were asked and a few of the responses:

How old were you when you first kayaked ? How did you feel prior to kayaking?

“25 years old. I was scared.”

“Probably around 5. Before that: terrible; after: incredible.”

“20, felt some relaxation.”

“18, I felt like I was gonna be pretty good at it and I was awful.”

What emotions did you feel prior and during your first camping experience?

“Empowered”; “Awe”; “Prior: Fear, anxiety, excitement. During: bored, frustration, awe.”

Through the Instagram stories, I wanted to capture that our followers are diverse in their experiences in outdoor activities. I wanted to capture the truth of what many have experienced during their first time doing something new and different, whether that was kayaking, climbing, or simply something challenging. A few shared that they were able to overcome a challenge by having someone help them who’s engaged in that challenging thing and positive self talk also helped. These were two things that helped me in my initiation with belay climbing. I don’t think I would have made it through without these factors.

When I was learning to climb indoors, I definitely leaned on the side of fear. The fear I felt did not decrease each time I attempted to climb, I think it only grew in intensity. Each time I went to a new session before my belay certification test and even after I received my certification, I only wanted to run away from the climbing gym, as I cried. I was too much into my head that I thought it was only a me problem. Everyone I encountered during my sessions seemed braver and experts at the activity they were doing, whether that was climbing or belaying someone. They also showed much excitement. I felt like I would never reach any of those levels of experiences.

When I finally had the chance of taking my belay certification, a week later than originally planned, I felt the worst anxieties. I wanted to run away from my test. But I felt the knowledge of the steps stronger than ever, so I decided I could run away after my test. I thought I would only have to belay someone, but to my surprise, I would have to climb for someone else’s test. (I forgot to mention I loath heights – only adding to my already existent fear). During this climb, I would have to fall and have someone catch me. Doesn’t sound like a happy ending at all for someone who’s afraid of heights. No fairytale could convince me that a magical moment of happiness awaits me.

The problem here wasn’t that I didn’t trust someone to catch me. I had all the trust in the person being tested in belaying, after all, they showed interest and confidence in testing. And I knew they had the knowledge as a climber and belayer.

The instructor of my belay course and also the person providing the belay test knew of my test and climbing anxieties, and decided to encourage me throughout my belay test and climbing experience that night. He shared failure stories of others and how they were able to become the best climbers and belayers he has met. He shared how these people have essentially used their fears as superpowers to empower others. Thanks to his words, I was able to climb up the wall and jump while someone else tested and afterwards, I was able to do my own test and pass.

What stood out to me the most from my instructor was - to share the vulnerability I carried throughout the whole process and continue to carry with the youth I serve. It's okay to make mistakes and tell kids I am afraid of climbing. However, I should show them that I can climb a little more each time I see them. This type of interaction will help kids relate to me and overcome their fears and challenges.

From this experience, I noticed that those fears may be there for some time, but will slowly dissipate or, if not, I will have to become my own cheerleader. For now, the youth that I work with motivate me when I see them overcome their fears and challenges with each climbing session, whether that is at the YMCA belay climbing wall or the bouldering at the Vital Climbing Gym. I share with the kids that their participation in climbing motivates me to continue learning alongside them and that I may help them in boosting their confidence, but they also do the same for me.